The Black Veil
by tavari
Summary: This is Sirius and a bit of Remus's pov of what happened in the department of mysteries.
1. The Demise of Padfoot

*~Disclaimer~* In case you are under even the slightest pretense that I am indeed J.K. Rowling, I'm not, sadly ^_^  
  
Sirius Black sat in a moth eaten armchair situated in front of a large fire. It was cold inside number twelve Grimmauld place, and not even the fire could warm him. Wistfully, he pulled out a small mirror from his pocket, as though he could will his fifteen-year-old godson to appear. But he didn't of course. And with a sigh, Sirius returned the mirror to his pocket, where it always rested next to his wand. Sirius grimaced as he ran his fingers over the wand. He did not know why he even bothered to carry it around anymore. It wasn't as though he would ever get the chance to do anything with it. Oh no, he couldn't even step out of the house, much less fight Voldemort for the threat of being sent back to Azkaban. Azkaban... even now the mere thought of the horrifying prison sent shivers up his spine, and conjured up images of the Dementors and the dying, and forced him to think back on the screams of the insane.  
"Alright there Padfoot?" Remus asked quietly upon entering the kitchen.  
Sirius turned his head slightly in order to get a view of his old friend. Remus looked unusually tired, and his brow was furrowed- a sure sign that he was worried "I'm fine," Sirius said lightly. "You?"  
Remus sighed, and sank down into the opposite armchair. "Sirius, I've known you long enough to be able to tell when something is bothering you. Is it something about Harry?"  
"No," Sirius began automatically, but then he stopped. Why shouldn't he share his troubles with Remus? Remus was the only remaining marauder...well, the only true marauder, and a true friend as well. "Well, actually yes....and... it does have to do with Harry." Sirius paused, and looked at his friend as though to gain reassurance. "Harry hasn't used the mirror. You know, the ones James-we- used to used to use at Hogwarts."  
"You gave him one?" Remus asked with raised eyebrows.  
Sirius nodded.  
"Sirius, did it even occur to you the problems that that could potentially invite?" Remus exclaimed, though managing to maintain his composure, "What if some other student picked up the mirror, and your face suddenly appeared?"  
"So?" Sirius said recklessly.  
"Sirius, it's not like it used to be! We're not at school anymore, and as grown men we're responsible for ourselves, and Harry. Yes, Harry, and don't give me that look Sirius. Can you even begin to imagine the field day Fudge and the Daily Prophet would have if they discovered that mirror of Harry's that allowed him to communicate with you? You of all people!"  
"I'm his godfather, and I have a right to remain in contact with him. Just to make sure Snivellus doesn't give him any trouble," Sirius replied hotly.  
Lupin sighed, "Sirius, I know you love the boy, but can't you see you endanger him by giving him trinkets of our school days? He's not James, Sirius. Harry is a prominent figure in our world, and in mortal peril now that Voldemort is back."  
"You sound like Molly!" Groaned Sirius.  
"Sirius, you're not the only one who cares about Harry," Remus said softly.  
"If you care about him so much- why didn't you take him in after Jame- after they died? Why did you let him stay with those hellish muggles?" Sirius said, standing up from his chair.  
"Had I not been what I was, a werewolf, I would have taken him in. But I was in no position to care for a child. I'm not myself when I'm a werewolf. You know that, and the risk of Harry getting bitten would have been too great," Remus said. His voice quavered, as though he really had bitten the baby Harry.  
"Hogging up the heat eh?" Exclaimed a feminine voice, interrupting the conversation of the two men.  
"Good evening, Tonks," Remus said politely, having resumed his normal composure.  
Sirius ducked his head and managed a small smile, though he ached inside to yell, scream, and most of all do something.  
Kingsley Shacklebolt and Alastor Mad-Eye Moody were quick to enter the kitchen after Tonks, and with their wands, they conjured up a plate of sandwiches, which they passed around. Sirius took one with murmured thanks, before re-settling himself back down on the chair, where he stared into the flames with a brooding expression on his face. Remus tried to catch his eye more than once, but when that proved impossible he struck up a conversation with Tonks. The voices, the noise, were too much. Standing up abruptly, Sirius made for the door, he would go see Buckbeak, who had been injured somehow.  
"Where ya going Sirius?" Tonks asked his retreating back.  
"Buckbeak," he muttered.  
But he never got to see Buckbeak, for at that moment an all to familiar voice rang out in the room. Sirius spun around in his tracks, lips pulled back in a sneer.  
"Sirius! Alastor! Kingsl-"  
"What is it Snivellus," Sirius demanded rather than asked.  
Severus's head sat among the flames of the fire, eyes urgent, "Now is not the time for your antics, Black," Severus hissed icily.  
"What is it Severus?" Remus asked, shooting Sirius a warning look.  
"It's Harry-"  
"What about Harry?" Sirius demanded. All of a sudden, the anger he had felt evaporated, and was replaced with a cold, icy fear.  
"He- he thinks you're at the Department of Mysteries. He thinks The Dark Lord has you- is killing you-"  
"What about occlumacy?" Remus asked. His face had gone a deathly pale, and Sirius was the only one who noticed his friend's fingers close in about his wand.  
Severus was quiet, "No," he said.  
"BLOODY FOOL!" Sirius roared, "HE COULD BE HEADING TO LONDON AS WE SPEAK!"  
"No, Black," Severus said, urgency battling with hatred on his face, "You stay here, Dumbledore will want to be informed."  
It was hard not to laugh at this ludicrous thought. He, Sirius, would stay behind while Harry was in danger? No, he could abstain with fighting Voldemort, but if there was one thing he could not do, it was to sit back while Harry was endangered. "Absolutely not!" Sirius spat, "Kreacher will stay here to tell Dumbledore."  
"Now is not the time for your heroics Black," Snape hissed, for hatred had overcome all sense of urgency.  
"And now is most certainly not the time for your petty arguments!" Alastor said furiously. "We will head for London at once."  
Snaped scowled as he watched Remus, Sirius, Tonks, Kingsley, and Alastor disapperate from the room.  
  
Within seconds, the five of them were crammed inside the phone booth, and then they were zooming down, until they entered the main hall of The Ministry of Magic. Bypassing the information desk, they sprinted for the lift, and then they were going upwards. At level nine they quickly exited.  
Sirius was breathing heavily. In his right hand he clutched his wand, and images of Harry flashed through his mind. He could be dead! A sick, numbing, and familiar feeling swept over his wasted features. What if he was responsible for Harry's death as well as James? Harry loved him just as much as he loved Harry. If Harry were killed in the process of saving him... oh he would not, could survive that! He had already paved the way for Voldemort to get to them... Lily and James... by suggesting that Wormtail be the secret keeper.  
But he had no time for too much reflection, so he pushed all thoughts out his mind, and emptied it; bracing himself for whatever lay ahead. They were in a room now, circled by plain black doors. He was panting now, and filled with an emotion that was familiar, yet he could not place it. Breathlessly he watched as Alastor and Kingsley opened door after door... scanning the areas with practiced eyes before shutting them shut. They were stuck now on a locked door, and the two of them were bent over the knob, muttering various charms and hexes over the knob. And suddenly, in that moment, he realized the emotion he was feeling. It was excitement. But how could this be? He thought to himself. He was sick to think that as Harry breathed his last he could be feeling excited. But he was out of the house, doing something, fighting Voldemort at long last. Here he could avenge James and Lily, protect their son! And then images of Harry, splayed upon a cold floor and splattered with blood filled his mind. He could be dead.  
With a howl, Sirius threw himself on the nearest door. "Alohamora!" He screamed, desperation coating his words.  
The door crashed open, revealing a strange, tiered chamber with an ancient and mysterious looking arch. Looking at the arch, a premonition filtered through Sirius, and for a moment, he was left desolate and without hope. And then he saw Harry, Harry handing over the weapon to Lucius Malfoy.  
"Stupefy!" Tonks screamed in Malfoy's direction.  
In that brief instant, Harry's eyes widened as he noticed the arrivals, and pure relief washed over his features as he noticed Sirius was among them. Sirius felt sick with joy. Harry yet lived! But his exuberance faded. Harry was grabbed from behind by one of the accursed death eaters. He could not die! With a roar Sirius sprang into the fray, casting spells, curses, hexes this way and that in his desperate attempt to get Harry.  
Harry was free now, his next glimpse showed, and Macnair; the death eater had been un-masked. Hermione and Neville stood next to him, unsure of what to do, and then Neville was hit by Dolohov's tarentallegra curse, and he was off, leaving Harry and Hermione alone. A beam of light shot out of Dolohov's wand towards Harry's chest, and a powerful rage swept over Sirius. Harry could not die! And he wouldn't, for he blocked the curse with a shielding charm.  
Dolohov cursed, "Accio prophecy!" He hissed.  
"No!" Sirius cried. With all his might, he rammed into the man, and then they were dueling. Sirius was immediately gratified with a rush of excitement. He had forgotten the thrill he used to get when he dueled.  
"Petrificus Totalus!" Sirius heard Harry cry from somewhere, far off. And then Dolohov fell before him, motionless.  
"Good one Harry!" Sirius cried. He and Harry were now looking at each other with such relief; both had survived.  
A jet of green light narrowly missed Sirius's head, and then he and Harry were back, in the midst of battle. Their relief subsiding. They would have time to talk when it was all over.  
Then Sirius lost track of Harry, and he found himself face to face with somebody he had not seen since Azkaban.  
"Well, greetings, dear cousin!" Bellatrix Lestrange said with a peal of icy laughter.  
"It's been too long, Bella," Sirius hissed. And then they were off, dueling. A crash rang throughout the room. Quickly, Sirius looked up; Dumbledore had arrived.  
Bellatrix hissed under her breath. They were the only ones fighting now; Dumbledore had taken care of the rest.  
"Old man will die soon, and you will then feel the wrath of The Dark Lord! Without him you would be exposed, divided... Harry would die; Harry will die!" Bella spat with feverish intensity.  
"Nonsense, cousin, you speak not with the future in mind, but for the love you have for your own voice," Sirius replied, dodging a bolt of red. He laughed, "Is that the best you can do?"  
He laughed at Bellatrix's face, and did not notice the second jet of red until it had hit him in the chest. Pain was sweeping through his body, and his chest felt as though it were on fire. He was falling... falling backwards, and soothing, ethereal arms were reaching out of nowhere, catching him.  
"SIRIUS!" He heard in the distance. Harry's face floated in front of him, distorted, and growing fainter by the second. "NOOOOOOOOO!"  
Failure Sirius thought. But his thoughts were becoming disconnected, disjointed, and then they vanished entirely. He was gone.  
  
Remus stared at the fluttering veil, eyes refusing to believe what his eyes had just told him. No, Padfoot could not be gone. It could not be true. Prongs and Padfoot had both left him.  
Harry flashed past him, screaming, screaming for Sirius, just like Remus wanted to do. "Sirius, it's not like it used to be! We're not at school anymore, and as grown men we're responsible for ourselves, and Harry..." The words so recently said, yet said so long ago, in an entirely different, brighter world flashed through his mind. Without thinking, he grabbed a hold of Harry's robes. "No, Harry," he whispered. "Sirius is gone. There is nothing you can do." That made it more real, and the full blunt of the pain hit him. "Nothing you can do," he repeated, voice cracking with agony. Harry sagged against Remus's body; full of the very pain that Remus had become accustomed to, if that was possible. Remus held back his tears for Harry's sake, and the screams of desperation and agony that were clawing at his throat, waiting to get out. But he could not prevent the limpness that had spread over his body in the aftershock, and Harry wrenched free and ran after Bellatrix's retreating form.  
Remus watched him run, grief-stricken, before turning back towards the enigmatic veil, fluttering so innocently in an unseen wind. But all things were not as they appeared to be. 


	2. The Musings of a Werewolf

*~Note~* Personally, I think that this story is better without this extra chapter. The only reason I'm writing this is because teenagemutantninjaturtles (I think that's it- sorry if I got it wrong) asked me to explain what jk didn't. Well, I can't really give an answer that will really be valid for future books as only she really knows, but I'll give my opinion through Remus. Like I said though, I think this chapter may detract from the first one. If you want a really good story about how Remus deals with his pain, I suggest you go to my good friend Rinne's (Rinnington on fanfiction's) story "A Late Night Cup of Tea." She's insanely good with all kinds of fan fiction, particularly with stories relating to Lupin ^_^  
  
The trip back to #12 Grimmauld place passed in a blur for Remus. He refused to think about the Sirius and the veil. But he could not escape the cruel pain that manifested itself in his very bones and mind. He could not think, and his thoughts flitted though his brain, disjointed and scattered.  
  
He had known this kind of pain only once before, when the Potters had been killed fifteen years ago, and the Peter has supposedly been murdered, and Sirius had been linked with all four deaths. Such misery had he known then! Growing up as a werewolf he never thought he would have such close friends, but then he had been excepted by James, Sirius, and Peter, who did not find his secret terrifying; on the contrary, they saw it as another adventure. After he had heard Sirius's view in the shrieking shack, he again felt joy, knowing he was not alone after all. But to have Sirius taken from him twice! The thought was simply unbearable.  
  
Could he have prevented Sirius's demise? Images of the battle that had taken place in the room with the veil flashed across his mind. He had not really been thinking about Sirius at the time. He did not think that he had had to. After all, Sirius had been given to him again. Once more- they were invincible. But only in their minds. For now, Remus was again alone.  
  
AS soon as they smaller party had returned to Grimmauld place, he had secluded himself in the room he had used while staying at... Sirius's house. Now it would of course be Harry's. Everything he saw reminded him of Sirius... The decapitated heads of house elves, which Sirius had mocked, the small writing desk Sirius had sat at while he composed his letters to Harry, the various gadgets he had saved from the Hogwarts days... It was unbearable to be in a place that he and Sirius's had both shared so recently.  
  
For a long time he sat there, in his room devoid of any light or fire, staring at the ground listlessly. Sirius was truly gone. Sometime in the night he made his way down to the library, wit only a small candle to light his way. Quietly as though not to disturb anybody, he pushed open the heavy wooden door, and closed it behind him.  
  
"Remus," A rough voice said.  
  
Remus started and turned around. "Oh, Alastor," He said dully noticing the odd looking man who was seated in an ancient armchair by the lighted fireplace. Why? He thought to himself, did he have to be here? To talk to somebody was the last thing he wanted to do. "What are you doing here," he demanded, a bit more forcefully than he had intended.  
  
"Thinking," Alastor replied. Remus walked closer to the man, and was mildly surprised to see a worn photo clutched in his right hand.  
  
"What is that?" Remus said, gesturing towards the picture.  
  
Alastor grunted, and held it out for Remus to see.  
  
Remus took it, gingerly and stared. Pain washed over him as he noticed the all-too familiar smiling and waving at him. There they were; the original order of the Phoenix. Pain swept over him as he noticed five people in particular, standing next to one another so comfortably: James, Lily, Peter, himself, and... Sirius. What had gone wrong since the picture had been taken? Remus thought as he felt the unfamiliar sensation of tears building up in his eyes. James, Lily, Sirius...all had been murdered, and Peter had betrayed all of the happy people in the photo. His eyes swept over the other people- all so happy in the photo; it preserved all the joy for him that life had not.  
  
"So many of 'em dead," Alastor said, as though he could read Remus's thoughts.  
Remus was surprised. Never before had he heard emotion other than anger pass through the aurors lips. But now he heard sadness and regret. "Yes," he responded. He sat down on the armchair facing Alastor's and stared at the fire; the photo still clutched in his hand.  
"Amazing how those we care about can be snatched from us at any time," Moody was saying. "I'm sorry about Sirius, Remus...he was a good man."  
  
"Yes," Remus repeated. He did not wanted to talk, especially after seeing the photo. It had wakened so many memories of the old days he did not even know he had had.  
  
"He died the way he would have wanted, protecting Harry," Alastor said, trying to soothe himself as much as Remus.  
  
"He didn't want to die at all!" Remus said. Suddenly he was furious; furious at Alastor for being there, at Harry for putting himself in danger, at Voldemort for starting the war, at Dumbledore, Albus, and so many others...  
  
"Nobody wants to die," Alastor was saying.  
  
"Nobody?" Remus cried, "I want to die!"  
  
"But you can't," Said softly, "You're time has not yet come. You are still needed... think of Harry."  
  
"It's because of Harry that Sirius is dead!" Remus shouted.  
  
"It's because of Voldemort and the death eaters that Sirius is dead," Alastor said.  
  
Remus was breathing heavily, from exhaustion and grief. "I...I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I don't know what came over me. He had not intended to yell at Alastor. After all, the auror was obviously trying to help him.  
  
"It's alright, I know how you feel Remus," Alastor said. He rose and patted Remus awkwardly on his shoulder.  
  
Remus stared at Alastor. He had never thought of the man as anything but a powerful auror. He had always been somebody so aloof and seemingly emotionless that Remus never really had thought of the auror as a human being with his own story. "You've lost somebody?" Remus asked quietly.  
  
"Many people," Alastor replied quietly, though he did not elaborate.  
  
"Why did Sirius die?" Remus asked, despair flooding through him again.  
  
"Why does anybody have to die?" Alastor replied. "But it is always harder for those left behind. Remember that, Remus. Harry will be depending on you. He needs you."  
  
"He needs Sirius," Remus replied, "Sirius was like a father to him. I can never be that for the boy."  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"Well I...I don't know...Sirius was always closest to James. He possessed the same vigor, the same excitement..." Remus trailed off, not knowing exactly how to put his thoughts into words.  
  
"Harry will not need excitement in the times ahead," Alastor replied, "What he will need is somebody to talk to him. Somebody to help him along."  
  
"That's what Dumbledore's for," Remus said, picking at a stray thread in the armchair.  
  
"No," Moody responded thoughtfully, "Dumbledore does love Harry, but he will...not be around forever you know. And in the meantime he has so many responsibilities now that Voldemort is back."  
Remus did not know what to say to this. Already the initial rush of pain was leaving him, though it left behind an incredible numbness and pain behind as his mind began to accept the loss. "Alastor," he said quietly, "I have one question..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"It's, it's about the veil. There was something surreal about it... why did Sirius not appear on the other side? Where is he?"  
  
"As I do not work in the Department of Mysteries myself, I do not really know... But I have heard whisperings... Where Sirius is, I do not know, but I have heard that the arch and veil are portals to... another world."  
  
"What?" Remus breathed, "Sirius may not be dead?"  
  
Alastor grunted as he pushed himself up off his chair. "Do not hope for it Remus. Better you accept that he's dead."  
  
Remus turned his gaze back to the fire, "oh."  
  
"Well, I'm going to bed now Remus."  
  
"Good night Alastor," Remus said, "I'll think I will stay up a but longer."  
Remus felt Alastor's hand brush against his shoulder in reassurance, and then he was gone.  
  
But Remus stayed, mind pensive, and heart heavy. And when he finally fell asleep, visions of mirrors played through his mind.  
  
DO NOT READ beyond this point if you don't want to know what I think  
happened to Sirius  
  
I am addicted to mugglenet.com, and as they post all of JK's interviews which I have read, I have developed an idea at what might happen to Sirius in future books. For starters, I think we will be hearing from him in later books. Either as Luna Lovegood said Harry could probably communicate with Sirius through the veil, or, as I think is more possible, Harry and Sirius will use the mirrors. In a recent interview, JK was asked a question as to whether the mirrors that Sirius and Harry used would come into play in later books, JK said "ooh, good question! There's your answer." Some could argue that Harry smashed his mirror in OotP, but it's possible it could be fixed with spells like "reparo" or Remus has one as well. Secondly, I think that the archway/veil is the portal to another world. I know this seems far- fetched, but, in another interview, JK said something about there being a whole new world in book 5. As there wasn't a whole new world mentioned in book 5, I'm assuming that the archway/veil had something to do with it. So- that's my two-cents ^_^ 


End file.
